Sorry officer but I’m really stoned right now.
It’s not my fault it’s autocorrect’s fault.
Wanna take a selfie for Instagram?
Got a light?
I’m on my way to save the President.
Would you like some donuts officer?
What’s your badge and tax ID number?
Where’s the Indian, construction worker, biker, cowboy and sailor?
Can you hold my beer while I get my license and registration out?
I just robbed a bank.
I’m just returning my neighbors stolen car.