Remember the good old days when you needed binoculars, a hoodie and real persistence to be a stalker? Like, you really had to work at it. Now, it’s just too easy. All you need to do is be a little weird on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and boom, you’re a stalker. It’s a slippery slope, so to help you out, we’re going to let you know when you’re being a stalker.
You Scroll Through His/Her Instagram Pics Every Day – Instagram is a stalker trap. Stick to the news feed and away from just looking at one set of abs and cakes all day.
You Subscribe To Tweets – Aw man, there’s nothing worse than people who get tweets sent directly to their phone…especially for people you don’t know. You need to know when someone brushed their teeth?
You Call About Posts – If you’ve ever called someone to ask what their post meant, you need to chill. “You said you prefer chocolate chip cookies…what are you telling me?!”
You Show Up Somewhere Based On A Post – If your stalkee posts “On my way to Target!” and you pop up in aisle three like “funny meeting you here!”…get help.
The All-Day RTer – You. Stop RTing and Favoriting every cotdamn post your stalkee makes. It’s weird.
Boo-stalking –Sigh. When you see the apple of your eye snuggled up with someone and you spend hours saying “lemme find out who this bish is” and you google, Facebook and do anything to find out info on your competition.
You Don’t Know It’s Over – You still have that profile pic of you two up even though you broke up before we had a Black president? Oh, okay.
Subliminal – We know who you’re talking about. All. Damn. Day. It’s unstable paging of post